And, I am SO over it! I don’t know what this kid’s deal is, but it ain’t for me anymore. In fact, I feel completely pathetic for essentially throwing myself at him.
It’s not that anything really happened to change my mind, it’s just total emotional exhaustion in dealing with this weirdo King of Mixed Messages. Well, that, and also that his friend Bill mentioned to me today that he thinks he has awful taste in women. Apparently, the quiet, thoughtful, shy Jim has a thing for tall blondes with tattoos. There’s no way for me to ever compete with that freakshow.
Once I came to terms with that tonight I started to question my motivation for this whole crush in the first place. I think it might just be the appeal of wanting what I can’t have. I’m certainly not used to boys not being interested in me—I at least get to make out with them a few times before someone decides it’s not going to work out. At this point, I think I was maintaining interest in Jim as a personal conquest, rather than genuine interest. I’m throwing in the towel, forfeiting, admitting total defeat. I just don’t have it in me to care anymore.
Goodbye, Jim.
