After that party on Tuesday night, I went over to Colin’s. I had the cab drop me off at the Duane Reade near his apartment so that I could pick up some contact solution and a toothbrush. I made it to his door a little after 11pm, and he was sleeping! For the first time since we’ve met (which was not too long ago!) I am starting to feel the age difference between us. Or maybe it’s the fact that I’m not working regularly right now? I like to sleep in and stay up late—right now it seems like i’m coming when he’s going and vice versa. But I still feel really comfortable with him. I think we have a nice thing going.
In the morning, I decided to leave the contact solution and toothbrush in his bathroom. When I told him that this was what I was doing he said, “Good!” It’s so easy. No argument, no weirdness, no skirting the issue. In the past, it’s taken me months to get a guy to agree to let me leave stuff at his apartment. Colin only took about 5 dates!
When I began my trek home in the snow (the blizzard had begun!), I started to feel my age. By that, I mean that I started to feel too young and inexperienced to be involved with someone so much older, someone who runs their own business, who is respected in the industry, who is so professionally accomplished. I feel as though I am none of this! And it’s true, I’m not. But, in ten years who’s to say that won’t be the truth?
I guess this whole thing with Colin is starting to shed light on how far I am yet to go in my own career and journey. I’m not sure I know what I’m doing anymore.
