Colin came back from his weekend away on Sunday night, and was too zonked to hang out. He asked if we could reschedule for Monday. I was totally cool with that as I was sort of dreading hanging out with him on what happened to be Valentine’s Day.
The next day, Monday, we made plans to have dinner after work. I had started freelancing at a new production company and had a really terrible day at work. I’ve been in a very strange place, emotionally, and definitely hit rock bottom on Monday. When I got home from work that night, I texted Colin and asked him if we could raincheck because I had such a bad day. I was very aware of how low I was feeling and didn’t want to put any of that on him so early on in our relationship. And I definitely didn’t want to cry to him.
He called me almost immediately, and managed to coax me into talking to him about my day. Of course, I ended up crying. He was amazing though. Totally reassuring and supportive. Managed to get me out of the apartment to come meet him for hot chocolate. We ended up having such a nice night! We drank hot chocolate and talked and laughed. He always gets me to laugh.
At one point I said to him “Ugh, I can’t believe I cried to you tonight like a crazy person.”
To which he responded: “Babe, you’re not crazy. You’re flawless. You’re perfect.”
SWOON! What a good guy he is! I can’t believe I was thinking of running away from this. I think the whole concept of a nice guy who exists in the body of a man I am attracted to and who is stable and caring is so foreign to me that I’m terrified. I’m going to start to love this, and then it might disappear. I know there’s no way to ever know if putting your trust into someone can ever work itself out for “happily ever after,” but I wish I could know that I’ll never have my heart broken again.
