Oh, boy. This is the end. At least, I’m trying to make it the end but I’m being a HUGE pussy about it. WHY IS IT SO HARD BREAKING UP WITH PEOPLE?! I have such a complex about hurting people’s feelings/confrontation. I need to get over it!
I knew this thing with Colin was over last week. Last Friday night, I invited him to come out to dinner with one of my best friends from high school and her boyfriend. We had been dating almost 6 weeks and he’d never met any of my friends. I figured it was about time. And we had fun! I was actually surprised. We had great food, great wine and great conversation. He was almost charming. We went back to his apartment afterwards and he fell asleep before 11pm. No sex. Just snoring. And my feelings dipped down again.
The next morning we woke up at 8am. It was the first morning since we have been together where one or both of us had not been working. Colin isn’t very good at relaxing. He’s not capable of hanging out in bed and watching tv, and he definitely can’t sit still to watch a movie or anything. He’s always up and about, always checking his goddamn phone. So we woke up and he suggested that we go to the diner across the street, where, he tells me, he has breakfast every Saturday. When we walked out of his apartment, I noticed that he grabbed the newspaper sitting by his door and instead of tossing it back into the apartment, he tucks it under his arm and brings it with us. Weird, I thought, but I let it go.
When we get to the diner, he suggests that we sit at the counter. Because it’s 8am and I am not a morning person, I don’t fight him on that one, but again, I think it’s weird. So here we are, sitting side by side at the counter at a diner on a rainy Saturday morning, and Colin TAKES OUT THE PAPER AND STARTS READING IT. While I am sitting there next to him. I was so bewildered by this. I could not believe that he couldn’t find ONE question he would want to ask me about myself, who he barely knows, and reads the paper silently instead. I’m not sure if this was a dick move, or if his total disregard for how to treat a woman is the reason why he’s still 37 and unmarried. I’m going with the latter.
But it gets weirder. The next day I found out my grandfather died. And when Colin finally called me that evening and I told him, his reaction was minimal. Granted, I had told him that my grandfather and I weren’t very close, but still, the typical reaction to death is sympathy and softness and he didn’t really exhibit much of either. Didn’t speak to him much on Monday or Tuesday, and then went home for the funeral on Wednesday. Again, no word from him until he was leaving work that night. He left me a brief message in which he at one point told me that he hoped I “had a good day, you know, I mean, as good as it can be with something like that.” Oy. I started telling people that day that I was planning on breaking up with him.
And so here we are. It’s now Friday. I blew him off last night and felt bad about it this morning. So I texted him asking if we could have drinks tonight (figuring drinks are a much easier situation than dinner for breaking up with with someone and peacing out afterwards). But on my way home from work today, he texted me to tell me he was out with his friend, Jermaine. I was sort of pissed. He’s making it virtually impossible for me to break up with him! Not to mention that he hasn’t seen me in a week, the same week the news of my grandfather’s death came. This gave me two options: 1. Go out to meet up with him and Jermaine, suffering through their drunken idiocy, only to tell him at the end of the night when Jermaine leaves that I’m not going home with him because I don’t want to date him anymore, or 2. Tell him that my stomach hurts and I’m not going out. I went with option #2.
Fuck. This means I have to break up with him tomorrow. I WANT TO GET THIS OVER WITH. I feel like a terrible person.
