Had the fucking nerve to send me an email last weekend:
oh jeesh hi there-
so you presented yourself in my dream last night (we were trying to get somewhere but running late-story of my life) and i awoke this afternoon in a bit of a panic. i am not contacting you to ask to be your friend or talk about the past or anything like that- i am merely contacting you to say that sometimes i think about you and i genuinely hope that you are doing fantastic. i ask around and people tell me that you are doing great-freelancing on some productions and keeping busy. we spent a lot of time together last year and i would be lying if i said that it didn’t mean a thing to me and that I could pretend that it all never happened.
keep shining.
First of all, I am really happy that seeing his name pop up in my inbox did not force me into a rage-induced tantrum. I’m really relieved that I’ve gained that part of myself back that I thought he had stolen from me. Second of all, reading this just made me think about how selfish he is. I don’t think he sent me this email because he is genuinely a good person with a big heart. I think it kills him to think that someone out there in the big, cruel world doesn’t like him and doesn’t want him in their lives. He has such a strong desire to be liked, to be the good guy. Third, although this email might seem sweet and thoughtful, you have to remember that the last conversation I had with FUCKING MARK was a huge fight over the fact that he apologized to me and I wouldn’t apologize to him, even though he gave me ample opportunity. He then went on to tell me that I’m a terrible person who deserved all the bad things that happened to me. I don’t owe him fucking anything.
And so I’m not responding.
